Welcome to my first (okay, technically not first, but first public...) attempt at blogging. I intend to share my many memorable mom moments, if nothing else than to vent! I have a three year old daughter and a one year old son. While they are the loves of my life they have definitely cost me much of my sanity! Nobody told me how challenging having two little ones can be. It's like a huge secret that women keep from each other to protect the human race-if we told each other how consuming it is to raise more than one kid, there would be a lot more only children running around! The good news is-as I'm slowly discovering-it does get easier, like all those veteran moms try to tell me. Since I'm sure people reading this are already members of the club, I am confident I can share my horror stories (which others keep assuring me will be funny one day) without causing a dent in the population.
For example, my most recent trip to the doctor's office went something like this:
After somehow feeding, bathing, and dressing the kids in less than 3 hours we all loaded into the car, miraculously only 5 minutes behind schedule. Of course Sarah (the 3 year old) decided she had to go to the bathroom right after we pulled out of the neighborhood. Anyone who has had a recently potty-trained kid knows that "holding it" is not an option. So back home we go, the potty we use, and back into the car, now (much more typical) a good 15 minutes behind.
When we finally arrived at the office (let me mention the Herculean effort it took to get 2 squirming babes out of their car seats, keep them from getting run over in the parking garage, put the baby into an umbrella stroller, and get off the elevator after stopping at every floor because Sarah mashed all the buttons, while I avoided eye contact with the other passengers) I had to occupy the rugrats. Occupying rugrats in a boring doctor's office is no easy task. I usually use food, but I was saving that for later when the doctor came in to see me.
Finally, after what seemed like hours I got to move into the examination room, which everyone knows is just a second waiting room. We had lots of fun making balloons out of latex gloves and looking through all the drawers and tearing pages out of magazines. The nurse came in and instructed me to "get undressed and put on this gown". The "gown" she refferred to was really a flimsy strip of see-through paper with huge arm-pit holes my boobs could hang out of and no back. So armed with animal crackers and absolutely no shame left in me, off came the clothes and on went the "gown". I should have seen this coming, but honestly I thought the doctor really would "be right in" because of all the commotion coming from our room. I was sure he'd want me outta there as soon as possible. But nope, he didn't come right in. So the kids were tired of playing doctor and getting hungry again by this point, and I started saying my prayer. You know the mom prayer that basically goes, "Please, God, let my kids be good for just a little longer so I can get through this. Please, please and I promise I will...." and so forth.
Guess what-the doctor did come in...right as I was chasing a renegade toddler around the exam table, in my "gown", sun-deprived butt totally exposed and jiggling behind me. Again employing the Avoidance of Eye Contact Trick, I hopped onto the table, silently chanted the mom prayer, and pretending the baby wasn't crying in the stroller and the little girl wasn't kicking and grunting in my arms.
After all my embarrassment, it just wasn't over: The doctor decided maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, and made me reschedule for "sometime when the children aren't so fussy"! So I've come to the conclusion that the doctor visit isn't extremely important (at least not important enough to experience that again), and I will reschedule...for when the children are grown.
Of course my little ones fell fast asleep on the ride home. How can they look so sweet when they sleep!?
1 comment:
GO MRS.GOODMAN!!!!!!!!!I LOVE UR BLOGS!!!!!!!!!
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