Why I love frozen dinners

I would like to take some time to show people why I make the same things for dinner every time I cook: spaghetti, lasagna, hamburgers, cereal...you get the idea--super easy stuff. Rick likes to make fun of my seemingly lacking culinary talents; he thinks I don't enjoy, or just don't know how to cook. Ah, no. That's not it at all. You see, the reasons I don't spend hours in the kitchen preparing masterpeices on a nightly basis are SARAH & PATRICK.


The other night I decided to be a Stepford Wife and have the house cleaned and dinner steaming on the table when Rick walked through the door from his long vacation day at work. So I set Sarah up with one of her cartoon movies in the living room and gave Patrick free reign of the Tupperware cabinet in the kitchen with me.


Wow, why don't I do this every night? This isn't so hard! What luck! Not a peep from the living room (I checked to make sure she was still there-just in case), and Patrick was content. About halfway through dinner preparations, Patrick crawled into the other room. Since I didn't hear any squeals, crying, or yelling, I figured I'd better finish dinner while I could.


So I finished the cooking and just kept it on the stove to keep it warm while tripping over random bits of Tupperware to set the table (I should mention that all of 10 minutes passed). The headlights from Rick's car lit up the door for a second and I ran around putting together finishing touches, knowing I had maybe another minute until he came in. The door opened and I smiled proudly, acting like I didn't just kill myself to get this supper ready in the nick of time. I asked, "Isn't the kitchen clean?...You know, besides the laundry in the corner and the Tupperware on the floor...and the juice puddle, and the garbage that missed the can..." My husband may not be the wisest man who ever lived, but he is smart enough to answer, "Yes! Looks great! You're amazing!"

So after the table was ready with the food and drinks I went to get the kids undressed (all moms know it's best if kids eat near naked)...this is what I found:

Yes, that's purple eye shadow she's wearing...she did a better job than I could have done, too! It gets better:

This is my precious, innocent Patrick (I admit, not his cutest picture ever) from the front. Now check out the back:

So that is why I don't cook more fancy meals. I prefer my baby to not be covered in Crayola. Note to other moms who don't know this yet: "washable" just means it's not supposed to stain forever. It doesn't mean you can just wash the baby and it comes right off. The only remedy is time...