Why do people ALWAYS show up when it is the very least convenient?
It never fails:
The children are playing peacefully with their educational, environmentally friendly toys. Their hair freshly washed and combed, teeth sparkly-white, clothes wrinkle-free and clean. The house is immaculate, smells nice, and a pie is in the oven. WHY can't people unexpectedly drop by to witness this? (Okay, yes-the answer is admittedly because "this" has never actually happened, but there are times that the kids are not fighting and we all look presentable at least.)
No, no. People want to show up when we look positively homeless. Case in point:
Yesterday I was sitting in the carport happily neglecting my housework and watching the kids play. I was wearing the worst of the worst, last-resort-laundry-day clothes, my hair had not yet seen a brush...and I looked the BEST out of all of us. The youngest was your typical RV park poster child, complete with snotty nose and chocolate-smeared face. He was in head-to-toe cammo, and his "shirt" was actually pajamas. The middle child was in shorts on a chilly day, and nothing else. My daughter did her own hair hours before, and had played hard since, making it look like I stuck her head in an electric mixer. She was sitting on her bike, fruitlessly pedaling and not going anywhere since the chain was dangling pitifully and obviously broken.
I did not have time to rush everyone inside, turn out the lights, and pretend we weren't available when the lady whom lives down the street slowed her car down to a pace that only meant one thing: she was stopping at our house. Let me explain that this isn't our cute, friendly old-lady neighbor from right next door. This is a woman we rarely talk to, and has earned herself a spot on my list of Top 5 Gossip Mongers I've Ever Known. The way I was positioned she could not see me and I couldn't see her. My truck was blocking me since I was sitting in a chair in front of it. Before I saw her I heard, "Where are your shoes?" and "Where is your momma...you're running around outside alone?"
During our "small talk" I had to repeatedly ask child #2 to stop swinging an extension cord around like a lasso. And child #3 was pushing a stroller around (and by "pushing" I mean ramming it into the wall at top speed repeatedly), which wouldn't have been a big deal except that it is very loud, and when pushed inside a carport the sound is echoed. It was basically a white trash three-ring circus.
To make matters worse, I couldn't get out of my chair to either distract the kids or for us to walk away from the commotion because I had my legs pulled up to cover my big belly buddy. We have managed to keep the pregnancy from most of our neighbors (only the cute little old ladies next door and across the street are in on our secret). So I looked like a fabulous mom with my out of control, misbehaving, unkempt kids while I jut sat there stupidly.
Gotta love people you barely know dropping by unexpectedly. :)
...It's ALMOST as bad as the Mormon boys knocking on your door while you're having a dance party with little kids in the living room and as you shamelessly do The Sprinkler they are staring dead at you through the window. And you only notice them as they walk away shaking their heads in a "that poor, lost soul" kind of way. Seriously-women whom have small children should be exempt from unannounced visitors!
Okay, I do feel better now.
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