*BAD Weekend*

Sigh. I don't even know where to start...I guess the beginning!!

I am not yet to the point that enough time has gone by that I can make this humorous. I usually try to see the funny side to keep my sanity and keep things in perspective, but I honestly can't do that right now.

On Saturday I was putting dinner in the oven at 3 pm (it was pork roast so it had to go in early). I was on the phone with my best friend, and after this...incident...happened I checked my phone and it was seriously less than 5 minutes. Okay after I put dinner in there were a few dishes that needed to go in the dishwasher so I did that. I realized that I could hear faded shrieks of pleasure from the kids and I immediately knew something was terribly, horribly wrong. So phone still at my ear I went to investigate. We have a large family room that we are in the process of turning into Patrick's room so the new baby can have the nursery. There are french doors that close it off from the living room where we spend our time. The doors were closed and I opened them to find Sarah throwing fistfuls of paint onto Patrick's head. I panicked for a moment-frozen in a state of "What should my next move be?" shock.

Let me explain-this was not a little bit of Crayola finger paint. No, no...it was a can of wall paint-the kind that is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to remove from carpet. The kind that is permanent, forever. We bought 3 cans (it's a BIG room) and had them sitting on the desk. The room is empty except the desk and a recliner. The kids climbed on the desk and pushed the can of paint onto the floor. Sarah told me she then jumped on it (from the desk), but my hubby believes-and who am I to correct him?-that it busted open when it hit the floor. So within 3-4 minutes a can of paint is covering the center of the room, splatter marks are all the way to each wall-to the door, on the recliner. The kids had it in their hair, ears, up their noses, under finger & toenails...everywhere. These pictures do NOT do the mess justice. The camera didn't pick up the splatters and the sheer fact that it's the ENTIRE can of paint!! When I took the photos I was thinking, "If I ever get this cleaned up at all I will have proof that it was much worse and Rick won't kill me". I even had to use Magic Eraser on the tub to get all the residue out.




















My first move was throw the kids in the tub cause obviously the paint would have just gotten on even more parts of the house with them running around like that. So I had no choice but leave the paint soaking in the carpet while I cleaned up those children. I am not sure if I was doing something wrong, but I scrubbed those kids until they cried that I was hurting them and they still had paint on their scalps and hair. After they were (for the most part) clean I put them on the couch in front of the TV and Googled how to get a can of paint out of carpet. The results did NOT look good for me. Not one website said it would come completely out, but a few promised it would not be too noticeable. I will spare you all the details, but after more than 2 1/2 hours of cleaning (I called my best guy friend, who is also my neighbor, and he brought a second shop vac and was in there helping me) the only difference was that we salvaged some of the paint.


My kids have made a lot of messes, but nothing has come close to this. The damages add up to about $2,000. not to mention the can of paint cost about $50.


THEN...On Sunday I was cleaning Sarah's room. I was in there for a while, but not that long. I came out and saw this:















Don't be alarmed: No one was shot. I was looking for the phone to call 911 until Sarah handed me the (EMPTY) Hershey's strawberry syrup container. Patrick had gotten into the refrigerator and dumped out the bottle. THANK YOU GOD, most of it was on tile, but there was a bit on the carpet. Have I mentioned yet that we had the floors professionally steam cleaned on Wednesday?? There's another hundred bucks wasted.



FINALLY today (Monday) Patrick woke up from a very, very restless night at 5:40. At 5:50 I was yelling for Rick and we were frantically pulling warm clothes on and getting Sarah dressed. Off to the ER!! My little guy was watching TV so intently he fell off the side of the couch onto the brick fireplace. His head split open and blood was everywhere, carpet not excluded. (Rick is still refusing to tile the entire house...) I was soooo upset-we arrived at the ER at Lake Shore (I absolutely HATE that hospital, which is why I travel an hour to Gainesville to have my babies) around 6:15. At 7:45, my son's head still open and bleeding, Rick grabbed us all up and we walked out. We went to the other facility across town and an hour and 10 minutes later my baby boy had 6 stitches in his forehead. They made me leave so Sarah wouldn't be terrified. It took 30 minutes to sew him up and they had him strapped to a hard board with velcro. I was crying right along with him. The doctor said to expect him to literally pass out afterwards from the trauma, and he did. I held him in my arms on the way home and he slept for an hour and a half in my bed. If you know my Patrick--this NEVER happens. So my lil man had his fist major accident. :( The doctor said, "It's a boy thing-you'll be here again"...Like that's supposed to make me feel better!? The stitches look much, much better than the wound did-it was sooo deep. Umm, I won't describe it I guess, but take my word for it-it was nasty. He has to go back after Thanksgiving to have them out, and he's being referred to a plastic surgeon cause there's no way it will heal up nicely. Anyway here's my baby Frankenstein:

I just don't understand what I am doing wrong? I know kids get into trouble and mess things up...But c'mon-from reading this I must sound like a complete degenerate, unfit mother! I PROMISE I wake up in the morning, every morning, planning that today will be different...and it never is! I spend time with them, we play, we go to the park, we have playdates and lots of friends. What is going on here!? I could understand if I left them alone so I could get my nails done, or if I was doing drugs or something, but NO-I make dinner and clean the house.....Grrrr. Sorry for the rant-I'm tired.



Tomorrow will be different! Right?

~Bathroom Fun~

I am not sure why, but the bathroom seems to be the single most attractive room in the house to my kiddos. It has progressed from just wanting to be at my feet while I was in there to locking themselves in that room for fun. Almost everyday I find myself banging on the door issuing ultimatums to get them out. Normally I would be thankful for the few minutes of peace, but here are a couple of reasons why it's just not worth it anymore:
The bath foam somehow exploded and it was shooting from the top of the canister all over everything. I have tried to do this myself to see exactly what went wrong, and I could not get the same results. Leave it to Sarah & Patrick to figure it out. If only they could use their evil genius to do good?

Another prime example of why the bathroom is off limits:

I admit this was mostly my fault; I selfishly walked outside to switch over the laundry and stayed out there for extra minutes just to be alone. When I came back inside I noticed it was too quiet, but it took me longer than normal to investigate. My favorite part of this clean-up was the toothpaste crammed in the grout on the floor. I'm not sure how it got there since he was on the counter, but it did.

My suggestion for getting a toothpaste/lotion combo out of your grout is soak it with water and use an old toothbrush to lift it out. Trust me: any paper product will not work!! You'll be amazed how clean the floor looks after scrubbing it-I was tempted to go ahead and do the rest of the floor, but I decided against it so we now have a section that is noticeably clean and new-looking.

Also, PatPat smelled minty-fresh for hours and hours after this incident so all was not lost. :)

After being a mom of 2 for over 2 whole years now I finally figured out how to go to the bathroom without having the kids tear up everything while I helplessly sit there. My bottom drawer is filled with "forbidden" items that I really don't care if they play with at all (empty travel-sized shampoos, Q-tips, etc). They get to think they're getting away with something, and I get to well, you know.

Baby

Okay I have had MANY MANY occasions that I think, "Hey don't get upset-blog about it!!", but I have been neglecting my poor blog. I also realized that I have barely mentioned my new little one coming, which is so funny because with the first 2 I thought about the fact that I was pregnant all the time...now it's just, I don't know, something that I've gotten used to I guess.
So I am going to give my belly buddy some attention: this post is all about baby!!

I am nearly halfway through and most mommies would be very excited, but to be quite honest I am very nervous. I don't know what I was thinking-I can barely handle Sarah & Patrick, now I am going to be outnumbered! I could stay pregnant for 2 years and be just fine-I giggle a little on the inside when I hear a first (or even a second now that I'm an old pro ::wink::) time mom complain about the discomforts of pregnancy....Just wait until the baby is here, HAHAHAHA. That's when the real work begins, especially when they are not too far apart in age. When I have this one Sarah will be 4 1/2 that month, Patrick will be almost 2 1/2...3 under 5. I'm tired just thinking of it.



But I digress-now for the fun stuff:


This critter is so cute-he has a cycle of being awake and asleep already, and he's very predictable:wakes up around 4 or 5 am, then again around 9 am. Mostly quiet with some bursts of playing during the day, and a long stretch of being awake from about 8-9:30 pm. I love it!! Yes, I have been referring to bean as "he": at my first appointment with the midwife she couldn't find the heartbeat so she sent me for an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay, plus we needed to check the dates. So here's baby's first photo at 12 wks (remember 12 wks means 10 wks gestation):













***This is not what my blog is about, but I just feel compelled to ask how can some people feel it's okay to slaughter such a beautiful, innocent creation of God? He is not a ball of cells-he's a fully developed human child. A little boy! Makes me sick to my stomach to think about it. :( ***

I suffered horrible morning sickness, but I am sooo happy to report that it is almost completely gone! WOOHOO!! Other than that everything has been just peachy...can't poop, headaches, heartburn, moodswings. In return I get slobbery kisses on my belly from the big sister and brother and a free pass to eat all the seconds I want and huge boobs.

I have another ultrasound scheduled a week from Thursday. I will have more photos then!

What Happens When Moms Get Sick...

I have a horrible sinus infection and unrelenting morning sickness. I'm no wimp-I can handle one *OR* the other, but I feel (am I right?) that having to deal with both is just plain cruel!! At my midwife appointment last week I was shocked to see that I've lost 6 pounds...I can't wait until the nausea is gone!!

Okay here's what happens (in our house) when mommy is sick:

KIDS:

• wake up at normal (or even earlier) time.
• feel super--appear to have more energy than usual.
• demand very complicated breakfast; refuse to eat it. Ask for more food 1/2 hour later.
• decide to jump on couch (which I'm laying on, dying), build forts, drag every piece of clothing out of their dressers/closets, run outside, fall down in the mud, run back inside, slip on the tile, smear their hands on the walls and furniture, and get into a big fight.....all before 9 am.
• Have huge appetite-any other day I'd have to beg them to eat- and want to eat every hour. (Did I mention the morning sickness and the mere mention of food sending me running for the toilet, garbage can, or sink??)
• Refuse to nap. Color on refrigerator with sidewalk chalk instead.
• Spend rest of the day making messes and fighting, and of course, eating.
• Get a bath and fall peacefully asleep. Alternately wake up at all hours throughout the night because they can sense their mother desperately needs to rest.

Mom:

• Wake up. Feel terrible.
• Make it to the couch.
• Watch helplessly as children wreak havoc on home.
• Try to get up to stop the madness, sinus pressure making head implode so sit back down.
• Decide enough is enough so take medicine.
• Get stoned off of sadistic, mind-altering Tylenol sinus liquid. Feel eyelids being pulled shut by said medication...Pass out on couch amongst chaos.
• Wake up, unaware of surroundings, and groggy from heinous cold meds.
• Feel incredibly guilty that children are left to their own devices; really want to get up and do something with them. Again attempt to get up and be productive, stumble around pathetically, sit back down. Wimper.
• Spend a lot of time between threatening kids with harm to be quiet and apologizing for being such an un-fun mommy.
• Give up and call daddy at work. Beg him to come home.
• Wait an hour. Call again. This time break out heavy artillery and use tears.

Dad:

• Get phone call at work. Hear commotion in background. Decide work is more fun/less work. Stay there.
• Get another, more urgent call. Wife crying--can't take it. Come home.
• Walk in door and want to walk back out.
• Take over kid-duty so wife can rest. Bother wife repeatedly for stupid stuff like, "Where's the remote?" and "What should I feed them?". Get locked out of room; try to find keys to get in, but even in sickness wife is smarter and already hid keys.
• Sit on couch and watch TV while kids bang on bedroom door.

I do have to admit that after I came out of my room and made him feel guilty asked hubby nicely to take the kids outside he did let me sleep for an hour. When I woke up I still felt terrible, and I found the kids sitting in the bathroom sink (yes, BOTH of them on one sink!!). They had bubbles everywhere and the water was overflowed all over the counter, onto the floor, all the way to the carpet outside of the bathroom! I was too sick to get mad-I figured the floor needed to be mopped anyway. When I asked Sarah what they were doing she said, "Scrubbing hands!". Oh, okay. Of course I went looking for Rick after the mess was cleaned up and guess where he was-ON THE PHONE!! GRRRR!!!! MEN.

Anyway I am still sick, but today I don't have the horrendous morning sickness, even managed to eat a bowl of cereal. And I have to say that Rick really stepped up and cooked dinner last night, and even gave them a bath so I could shower by myself!! Still feeling guilty for not interacting more with the kids, but I know that once I feel better we'll do something really fun to make up for it. :)

~10 Signs You're a Mom~

10. You don't get annoyed by annoying toys. The noise just doesn't phase you. You can block anything out!!

9. You thoroughly enjoy and truly appreciate the gift of a complete shower (washing hair AND shaving--!!).

8. You know all the words to all the theme songs for shows such as SpongeBob, The Wiggles, and Curious George. Also, you are secretly frightened and/or creeped out by characters such as The Doodlebops, but you allow the children to watch because, well, the laundry has to get done sometime.

7. You talk about poop a lot.

6. It never fails that if you have an important call to make/receive (okay, scratch that-if you have ANY calls) that is the exact time the kids will morph into hungry, screaming creatures who cling to your leg while hollering like they're on fire. If you go outside for peace and quiet they will either lock you out or follow you. You can't win...make calls during naptime.

5. It is perfectly normal to forget what you were talking about halfway through a sentence. It may never come back to you. Ever.

4. Anytime you're out in public and one of the kids starts getting tired of running errands you'll do anything to keep them happy long enough to finish the task at hand. For example: Bursting into song at the supermarket or doing a jig at the bank...and not caring about the funny looks strangers give you.

3. Bribes, threats, begging...ALL acceptable means of getting children to behave.

2. You know that people who don't have kids know everything about child-rearing and you listen patiently to their "advice" and "wisdom" while your eyes glaze over. Then forget everything they said as soon as they're out of sight. Go back to tending to your out-of-control heathens.

And the top sign you're a mommy is:

1. Every once in a while you give your husband The Look, run into the bathroom where you have a stash of magazines and chocolate hidden, and enjoy your "free time"...when hubby comes to the door after 20 minutes to see if you're okay, you moan and say, "Ill be out soon..." That'll get you 10 more minutes.

Don't worry--any momma will agree that it's all worth it.........after they're tucked sound asleep in bed for the night, of course. ;)

See...They *Can* Be Sweet!!

Awww...the other day Sarah finaly noticed my bloated belly. I told her that there was a new little brother or a little sister in there for her, and I asked her which one she'd rather have.

She paused for a moment, looked at Patrick, looked at my belly, looked back at Patrick...and in a shrill, concerned voice cried: "No!! Keep PatPat!!"

HAHA--I guess I should have explained that it's not a new sibling, but an additional one.

Anytime PatPat tries to climb on me or hit me too hard in the stomach Sarah grabs his arm and says, "No hit tum-tum...B-A-B-Y!" It's so cute!

My Husband Wants to Know What I Do All Day

I can't be the only one who feels like I work so hard all day long and get nothing done?! Seriously, I feel like all I do is cook, clean, and do laundry. And yet we never have a perfect meal, the house is always a wreck, and the piles of clothes don't seem to shrink.


Today I let Sarah's 6 year old friend (our neighbor's granddaughter) come to play. She walked over at 9 am and left about 2 pm. I sent Sarah with her. I think I am a pretty fun, easy-going mom: I let them play Princess with Sarah's costumes, they put on make-up (the play stuff, and they washed it off), we had a tea party, they played in the hot tub.


Anyway, after all that "fun" I was tired and ready for a break. So I thought by having Sarah go to someone else's house for a while I'd get a little peace. Well, this wouldn't be my blog if that were the case!


Patrick told me that he pooped so I went back to his room to get some wipes and a diaper. The wipe warmer was empty so I opened a refill and put some water on them to keep them moist, which took all of 1 minute. That was all the time he needed to open the cupboard in the kitchen, bite open the seal on a spare can of coffee, and cover himself and the floor in grounds:

Now I know it doesn't look like much, but believe me it took quite some time to vacuum up. I had to stick PatPat in the sink and spray him down. Coffee grounds stick to small children and are very hard to scrub completely off. Meanwhile, I forgot all about the poop.


I should mention that the smell of coffee is a major morning sickness trigger for me. That's right, folks: morning sickness. Next Spring I am bringing another menace into society beautiful life into the world!!!


So cleaning the grounds went something like this: clean for a minute, puke for 3 minutes, clean for another minute, puke for 3 more minutes. It took a while-kind of a one step forward, two steps back routine.


So I finished cleaning the mess (if I walk in my kitchen I still feel tiny little particles dig into my feet no matter how many times I've rinsed the floor) and finally remembered the poop (I don't need to go into detail about what that substance is like when left in a diaper too long....). I went into the bathroom to grab a towel to dry everything (baby, floor, myself) and found our cat in the bath tub, eating a roll of toilet paper. The girls had snuck the cat into the bathroom to play and apparently either forgot about her or decided it would be a good idea to leave her in there unattended. So if the tub clogs up tonight I'm playing dumb.


Yup, as soon as all the chaos was under control...."Riiing Riiiing". My butt had not even a chance to warm the couch. :(